Who am i not to trust

 The voices in my heart speak to me in silence... The new year will be new year resolutions, honestly, I have a billion new resolutions to make more than calling them resolutions I like calling them a better me, I tried making a vision board for the first time this year and when I was making it I could see all those things happening, I tired the Spanish tradition of eating the twelve grapes under the table and making twelve wishes with each grape. It's a new year now looking back to yesterday seems like going back to a person I was not who I am, we gain we lose but if we read our books backwards that's when we lose the game.  "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." -Shakespeare, Hamlet For some of us nothing is new this year it is the same old us with the same procrastination, but some of us dare to actually make a difference in ourselves, the most difficult thing to do is to change ourselves, and the more we do that the more we gain, the more

 The door was closed, and so was my heart, I tried putting my hand on the handle for him but maybe we drifted apart, At the doorstep of his heart, maybe a knock would bring him alive, or I was just afraid of what I might find... Emptiness was all I saw. Maybe he had already sown his seeds and gone. In a lucid dream, I saw the bridges of my imagination and reality, where I had to begin my path. I was waiting for his signals to find my path. These nights are without darkness and my days are without pain. Finally, my tears have stopped for me to drain in the rain. I am sinking in the ocean of your tragic darkness, where my life has lost its will to live. These nights are without darkness, my days are without pain, and I am waiting for someone who hasn't changed... I love you more than the poets love the moon; I love you every day and every night; I love how you make me smile. If I am lost I want u to be my destiny. I love you more than the distance between us and  I  love you more tha

 "My eyes left yesterday, my heart felt forever....." Thinking about it makes me sad, but I still do...Maybe I am happily sad... He heard my quietness, and he felt my silence... I wasn't sleeping I was awake I wanted you to wait, I was losing my breath but my mind was still I just needed you to be there..my cry for help everybody heard but maybe your ears were deaf for it... The smile everybody saw but you saw the tears for it...Dissolve me in your soul I will fade, say your name I will chase, give me your hymns I will pray, just make me yours I will stay...I am not me I am the reflection of you in the mirror, the one you admire the most to see..but the mirror just broke did it break you and me? I wish my sore eyes could show my love or my bass voice or the fact that I am still half for the other half... Sometimes it takes as much as winter to make you cold but what if the blanket of fanciness that used to make me feel warm is making me feel sore..maybe it would take as l

U r too fat or U r too thin... the society can never be happy for the way u r especially in India. I was flabby as a child I was always told how extremely fat I was. Ppl used to tease me a lot for them it was just a joke but for me, it made me want to change myself gradually I became perfect in the societies eyes. Now, as per ppl I am too thin few months back I was perfect according to them. I have been trolled for my shape since childhood back then I was too fat that clothes won't fit in and now acc to them I am too thin that I look unwell.  A lot of ppl have started commenting on my shape lately someday they say,"ur ass is too big!" Somedays they say,"u r so flat!!"  No one has the right to comment on my body or anyone's till the time they know what u r going though.  Did u suffer from eating disorder since u were 12? Do u suffer from PTSD? Do u suffer from depression? Do u know what real depression is? Were u told since the age of 6 that u won't be al

"His eyes didn't lie, that smile didn't lie, those lips didn't lie" I don't know why I don't feel he is gone; I still feel he will text me "Hey, I LOVE YOU, HONEY!" just like he used to say. Everyone is saying he is gone, he won't come, he never loved you, he used you, he must have moved on but I feel he loves me even now it has been almost four months since we broke up but a part of him is still in me, the memories he gave me will always and always will be with me, my love for him can never fade away because he is my life not a part of it. HE IS ME. The day I realized that he is the one at that very moment I lost everything and gained everything at the same time. I lost all other attachments and I made him my everything. I dreamt forever with him. He promised me forever but maybe we will get back together someday. He became my world, my breath, my life, my family, and my home.  I texted him 15 days ago, and he blocked me. No matter whatever

  Our first conversation, the first time you said "I love you", the first time u looked into my eyes, the first time you held me close to you, the first time your lips were on mine, the first time I laid down on your chest, the first time you played with my hair, the first time you kissed my neck, our first date, our first picture today, the first time we talked on a call... Well, I remember it all too well... I was always scared of his leaving me and I often asked him if he was going to leave me someday...he always said never. He used to say whenever this thought comes I should just remember how much he loves me... I believe him......but maybe after all he forgot me... I see you every day But that's not enough I got this seeker running along a lonely line Always trying to make my keeper mine ~Weyes Blood   It was our second date we were in a restaurant the above song was playing and he couldn't stop vibing on it. It took two days to find this song for our 2nd month&#