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Love changes faster than seasons

 "What about when someone doesn't need a shoulder? What if they need the arms?" -Stephen Chbosky

It felt right somehow everything about him, just felt it was meant to be. Well, if you have been reading my blogs you are certainly sure of the fact, that I don't have good luck in love, unfortunately, I always thought love is enough but it isn't.

I love him more than anything in this universe but that is not enough. I love him but still, I wasn't able to understand him, support him and make him realize that I am always going to be there for him.

He met me when I was in pieces, he healed me just within two months, and then he broke me in a way I never thought.

Why is it hard to move on?

I am scared to move on honestly, because now when I think of the person I loved before him, I have totally forgotten him, the memories with him are faded it just feels like I never loved him, and I am scared to move on because I don't want to forget the guy I love right now, I don't want the memories I made with him to fade away and it is just hard to accept that he is probably never going to be mine again.

I don't want a shoulder to cry upon I want his arms around me. I want to feel loved by him. Now I am just trying to think of a part in me he didn't touch. My heart, my soul, my lips, my hips, my hair. The way he looked into my eyes and said, “I love you" I want to hug him tightly and cry for him. The promises he had made but couldn't keep. The things he said but didn't mean. The love he gave me but I couldn't feel.

He said he moved on and that kills me because he had forgotten how much he loved me and he is ready to spend all the moments we spent together with someone else.

He said let's try being together after a year, but if he can unlove me within a week will he wait for me for a year? No, right? Even if he wants to be with me after a year, we have to put effort today just like we have an exam after a month for it we are going to prepare from today not just the night before it. It hurts he couldn't understand and it hurts even more that I can't even believe we ever loved each other so much and now we are fighting like dogs it just feels like a whole dream and the moment I wake up it's back to reality.

Love is something which keeps breaking you but still, you crave for that one person, who doesn't even care maybe but you still try no matter how much they hurt you but you still love them more every second because of what you felt for them is just unexplainably beautiful. If we see everything was perfect except the end and to cherish what we had I have to let it go. I am crying inside that it is over so soon because I always thought me and him were a forever thing but I have to let it go and be happy that at least it happened.

In this world, everything comes with an expiry date and you can't do anything to make it constant because in a relationship the love we give we never receive it from the other person because there is always someone who loves more, suffers more, sacrifices because the only dream they have is to be with that one person they love.

Even after my heartbreaks, I am not going to change as a person, I am not going to hate love because honestly, I love being in love.

 

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